Deep Thoughts

I still haven't posted Cameron's birth story, and I plan to do so at some point, but I have been thinking about it a lot today. I started reading Multiple Blessings by Jon & Kate Gosselin, who are the parents of twins and sextuplets, and have a reality TV show on TLC called Jon & Kate Plus 8 (for anyone who didn't already know that). I'm really enjoying the book, and it has caused me to reflect more on my childbirth experiences. When Braden's birth day arrived, I was excited and not really scared much at all. I was naive and had absolutely no idea what was really in store. I had watched all the episodes of A Baby Story I could, and thought I had it pretty much figured out. I look back now, and realize that I was blissfully ignorant about a lot of stuff (mostly what happens after you leave the delivery room). When Cameron's birth day arrived, I was no longer a childbirth rookie, and had a pretty vivid recollection of what was going to happen in the hours and days to come. By the time we got to the hospital, I was starting to actually panic a little. The day flowed very differently than it had when I was getting ready to have Braden (everything happened much faster). My epidural didn't have time to kick in before I felt the uncontrolable urge to push (which I never felt with Braden), and it was a scary and quite painful experience. The end result was so worth it, though. It was truly awesome to actually feel the baby being born. With Braden, my entire lower half was completely numb (so much so, that I asked David to quit patting me on the knee because it was freaking me out that I could see him doing it, but not feel it). With Cameron, I was very aware of everything that was going on with my body. Before I get into the realm of "too much information," let me just say that feeling his head pop out was just about the best feeling in the world. It was a huge physical relief and just absolutely wonderful. I was so thankful that I wasn't numb to the world, and that I got to see it and feel it happen. It was completely amazing. As I look back on that experience now, I am in awe of God's plan for us. Not just for David and me, but for people in general. How we are formed in the womb is beyond understanding. I know science has shown us all the processes and stages, but it's still umistakably the work of the Lord. I believe that Jesus is my savior, and that when I die, I will get to see Him face to face. I believe that I will spend eternity with Him, and that when the time comes for Him to return, I will be there with Him, and all the believers will be together in a glorious world. I say all that because my childbirth experience has got me thinking about death. I've always been afraid of death. Not so much the after death part, but the dying part. This may sound weird, but I think that maybe it will be a little like giving birth. It may happen unexpectedly. It may happen very quickly, or seem like it's going to take forever. It may be very scary and very painful, but when it's over, and I'm seeing my Lord face to face for the first time, it will have all been worth it. Just something to ponder. Ok, that's all the deep thoughts I have at the moment... maybe all I'll have for the year. I just felt the need to share. :)